During my journey my relationship with GOD was greatly impacted. As I struggled to come to terms with the fact that I would never have children of my own, I found myself blaming God. I did not understand why he did this to me. Why he took the greatest gift from me. So many undeserving people were blessed with children. So many were able to conceive without intention. They day that I stopped praying for children is the day I stopped praying and I started living a lie. In front of friends and family I would pretend that I still maintained a relationship with God. I still went to church. But for years it was just something I did to keep the peace in my family. I couldn't share my true feelings. Especially with my mother and my sister.
Restoring my Faith
Over time my heart and my relationship with God would heal. I am especially thankful for my mother and my sister, Myra. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they prayed me through the roughest days of my life. Throughout my journey they were there. They cried with me, laughed with me. They held my hand, they carried me, they loved me no matter what mood I was in, no matter how angry or sad I was.
I am stronger today because of my two prayer warriors. For anyone that is going through a similar journey, I pray that you have a support group to help you through.
Until I reached the end of journey I did not realize that I also had a fear of being alone. Their presence in my life unconditionally was critical to my healing. If you are ever placed in a position that someone you are close to is going through a similar journey, remember that your presence in their life may be more healing than any other thing that you may say or do for them.
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